my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
