what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
