its not stalking. its research.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
