I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Randomize