guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Randomize
