just come out here and I will go home with you...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
as a side note pls kill me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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