I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
