at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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