yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
