Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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