What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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