Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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