He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
