remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
