My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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