I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize