Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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