im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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