my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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