I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
