god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
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