is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just pee around me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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