so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize