you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize