I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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