U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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