The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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