i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
