Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
