You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
