Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
