I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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