Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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