I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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