you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
