Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
