I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
