He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
