May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
