STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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