hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
