sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize