I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize