marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dicks are not precious.
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