I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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