i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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