nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ugly people sure do ruin things
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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