Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
