I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
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fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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