Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
