Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
