I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
