I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
