i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I love having hate sex.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize