Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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