Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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